You weren’t born doubting yourself. That feeling tends to creep in over time—often shaped by societal expectations, life experiences, and hormonal changes. For many, menopause can bring an unexpected drop in confidence, leaving you questioning your identity, decisions, and self-worth. You’re not alone, and there are ways to regain your sense of self.

What is low confidence during menopause?

Low self-esteem, or low confidence, is when you struggle to believe in yourself. This can mean doubting who you are, what you can do, and the value you bring to others. It often shows up as a harsh inner critic, self-doubt, or feeling like you’re not enough. It can influence everything from your mood and motivation to your relationships, career, and sense of identity.

How common is low confidence in menopause?

While low confidence can affect anyone, it’s especially common during menopause. Though hard to quantify, research and lived experiences show a clear link:

• Many women report feeling less confident in their professional abilities during menopause
• Confidence and self-esteem tend to peak in midlife, then decline after 60
• Contributing factors include hormonal shifts, ageism, work changes, caregiving responsibilities, and physical changes

Read more about the stages of menopause.

Signs of low confidence in menopause?

You might be experiencing a drop in confidence if you notice:

1. Using self-deprecating humor or frequently criticizing yourself
2. Brushing off compliments or feeling undeserving of praise
3. Feeling overly sensitive to feedback or comparing yourself negatively to others
4. Struggling to make decisions or doubting your abilities

Tips to Help Low Confidence During Menopause

Unlike physical symptoms like hot flashes or night sweats, low confidence isn’t something that can be treated with a cream or a single medication. Rebuilding self-worth takes time, intention, and care, but it can also offer a powerful chance to reset your perspective and build something stronger.

Menopause is a natural life transition, and while it can shake your sense of identity, it also gives you space to ask what matters most. Here’s how to start finding your footing again.

Build a new narrative about yourself

Your inner voice matters. When your thoughts become overly self-critical, they can shape how you see yourself and the world around you. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the most effective ways to uncover negative thought patterns and reframe them into something more compassionate. You can also start this process on your own by asking a few simple but powerful questions:

• What’s something you truly love about yourself?
• What’s something you appreciate or are grateful for?
• What’s something others often recognize you for?
• What qualities or strengths make you proud?

You may be surprised by what comes up when you give yourself permission to look honestly at your own worth.

Test your perception

Perception shapes confidence more than reality ever does. Try this simple exercise to see how it affects you:

1. Next time you go out, imagine that the first three people you see think you’re capable, confident, and magnetic.
2. Notice how you hold yourself. Do you stand taller? Smile more easily? Feel lighter?
3. Now, imagine that the next three people you encounter think you’re incapable or unworthy.

What happens to your body language then? How does your energy shift? This exercise shows how much of your confidence comes from within, and how easily it can change depending on what story you tell yourself.

Talk kindly to yourself

Many people look in the mirror and focus immediately on their flaws. It might feel impossible, but you can retrain your mind to notice what’s good.

Next time you catch your reflection, smile. Compliment yourself. Flirt with yourself. Say something kind. It might feel silly at first, but it’s a powerful way to interrupt old mental habits and make space for self-compassion.

If negative thoughts come up, acknowledge them, then let them fade. They don’t define you. What you repeat to yourself becomes your reality, so make sure your words build you up, not tear you down.

Prioritize self-care

Self-care isn’t indulgent, it’s essential. It reminds you that you are worthy of care, rest, and time.

Between work, family, and daily demands, it’s easy to put yourself last. Try setting aside just 15–30 minutes every day for you. That could mean reading, meditating, journaling, walking outside, or simply sitting quietly with a cup of tea. Check in with how you’re feeling. Ask yourself what you need today. Giving yourself time and attention sends a clear message: You matter.

Say no to the things that don’t serve you

If something or someone constantly drains you, it’s okay to say no. You don’t have to overextend yourself to prove your worth.

When you spend your energy on things that align with your values—the activities and people that bring you joy—you reinforce your sense of agency. You remind yourself that your happiness is just as important as anyone else’s.

Consider taking a social media break

Social media can amplify self-doubt by encouraging constant comparison. Seeing highlight reels of other people’s lives can make you feel inadequate or “behind,” even though it’s not the full story.

Try stepping away for a few days or even just 24 hours. Notice how you feel without that stream of external noise. Many people find their mood lifts and self-talk softens almost immediately.

Ditch the perfectionistic mindset

We all make mistakes. That’s part of being human. When you slip up, try viewing it as an opportunity to grow, not a reason to criticize yourself. Self-compassion doesn’t make you lazy, it makes you resilient.

Balance your lifestyle

You might be surprised by how much physical habits affect emotional confidence.

Regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and quality sleep can dramatically improve mood, focus, and energy levels. Movement helps release endorphins (your body’s natural “feel-good” chemicals) and better sleep supports emotional regulation.

Start with small changes. Take a daily walk, stretch before bed, or choose one healthy meal a day. You don’t need perfection, just consistency.

Can hormone therapy (HT) help with confidence?

Possibly. Hormone therapy (HT) has been shown to help with mood swings, sleep issues, and hot flashes—symptoms that often affect confidence. While HT isn’t a direct fix for low self-esteem, by easing these related symptoms, it may help you feel more like yourself again.

HT isn’t suitable for everyone and does come with some risks. Talk to your healthcare provider about whether it’s right for you.

Read more about HT risks and benefits.

Low confidence and menopause FAQs

What causes loss of confidence and self-esteem in menopause?

Several factors can contribute. Hormonal changes (especially lower estrogen and testosterone) can affect brain chemistry and mood regulation, leading to anxiety, sadness, and self-doubt.

At the same time, life transitions like children leaving home, aging parents, career shifts, or relationship changes can impact your identity and sense of purpose. Add in physical changes such as weight fluctuations or sleep disturbances, and it’s easy to understand why many women feel less grounded in who they are.

Low confidence during menopause isn’t a character flaw—it’s a natural response to significant emotional and physical shifts.

Is losing confidence linked to any particular stage of menopause?

Low confidence can appear at any stage. For some, it starts in perimenopause when hormone levels first begin to fluctuate. For others, it appears postmenopause as ongoing symptoms and aging-related pressures build.

There’s no “right time” or predictable pattern, and no shame in what you’re feeling. What matters is recognizing it and getting support when you need it.

When should you reach out for help?

If low confidence is affecting your daily life, work, or relationships, it’s time to reach out.

You’re not alone, and there’s no need to struggle in silence. Talk to your healthcare provider, a psychologist, or a trusted friend or family member. Therapy, community groups, or menopause-focused coaching can all be helpful.

If you ever feel like you’re losing hope or struggling to cope, seek professional help immediately. You deserve support and care.

Learn more – the latest low confidence research

• Dąbrowska-Galas M, Dąbrowska J. Physical Activity Level and Self-Esteem in Middle-Aged Women. Int J Environ Res Public Health. 2021 Jul 8;18(14):7293. doi: 10.3390/ijerph18147293. PMID: 34299744; PMCID: PMC8305857.
• The North American Menopause Society, Poor Self-image and Changes in Your Partner
• Włodarczyk M, Dolińska-Zygmunt G. Role of the body self and self-esteem in experiencing the intensity of menopausal symptoms. Psychiatr Pol. 2017 Oct 29;51(5):909-921. English, Polish. doi: 10.12740/PP/68136. Epub 2017 Oct 29. PMID: 29289970.