When it comes to talking to your healthcare provider about menopause, it can be challenging to feel seen and heard. Need a pep talk before you go in? Le’Nise Brothers, who specializes in women’s health, shares her advice on how to get the best out of your appointment, as well as a checklist of questions to ask.
Find what you need quickly
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Make sure you are listened to
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Feeling out of control
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Don’t dismiss symptoms
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When to see your healthcare provider about menopause
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How to prepare for your visit
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Checklist of questions to ask your healthcare provider about menopause
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Can your healthcare provider test for menopause?
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What to do if your healthcare provider won’t prescribe HT
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Final word
Make sure you are listened to
Menopause is complex and symptoms can appear gradually, which can be confusing. This is exactly how Celeste felt. From years of regular, easy periods and generally good health, she suddenly had very irregular and heavy periods. She was having trouble sleeping, was hot in the middle of the day, and could barely concentrate.
When she went to her healthcare provider, she was told that perimenopause wasn’t real and that she just needed to reduce her stress levels. While there are plenty of excellent medical professionals who signpost women to the help they need, unfortunately, experiences like Celeste’s are also not uncommon.
Feeling out of control
Menopause symptoms such as changing periods, moods, energy levels, and others can leave you overwhelmed. Many people say one of the hardest things about this phase of life is the lack of control. They’re so used to feeling on top things in life – and then changing hormones throw everything off balance.
Read how Stella made Emma feel more in control.
Don’t dismiss symptoms
There are a variety of symptoms that you may be normalizing as ‘just part of getting older or being busy’. Perhaps you’re simply feeling ‘off’, not as engaged in life, or overwhelmed by the responsibilities you used to be able to juggle. However you’re doing, it is important to know that you deserve to feel your best, full of energy, with steady, even moods, and a clear head. Many women don’t prioritize their health needs due to busy lives, but it is vital you give yourself time to look after your body and mind. Getting older doesn’t mean we need to accept a descent into poor health.
When to see your healthcare provider about menopause
If you’re experiencing any of these symptoms below, please see your healthcare provider for a health check, especially if you’re over the age of 40. There are at least 34 symptoms of menopause to look out for as well as red flag symptoms that may need prompt medical consultation to rule out serious health conditions.
You may start to notice:
- Brain fog, struggling to find words, issues with concentration
- Irregular periods when periods have usually been regular
- Heavier or lighter periods, especially when periods have been a more regular flow
- Vaginal dryness
- Greater urgency to urinate or a more frequent need to urinate at night
- Hot flashes or night sweats
- More frequent mood changes, anxiety, or depression
- Sleep problems – trouble falling asleep or staying asleep
- Headaches
- Muscle and joint pain
- Vaginal pain or discomfort, especially during sex
- Frequent urinary tract infections (UTIs)
- Heart palpitations (this is a red flag symptom, which means that you must see your healthcare provider urgently)
How to prepare for your visit
Before you see the healthcare provider, it is important to prepare for your visit. This will help you get the best out of the appointment and help you feel empowered and in control.
Build your confidence
- Prepare yourself mentally – remind yourself that your health is important and you deserve to feel your best and get the support you need
- Schedule your appointment for earlier in the morning when you are likely to be more alert and less stressed by the demands of the day
- Ask for a double appointment so you don’t feel rushed
- Do your research – look at our menopause symptoms library for guidance
- Rehearse what you want to say with a friend
- Go for a short walk beforehand or give your arms and legs a little shake – gentle movement helps to take you out of your head and connect back with your body
- Take a friend with you – if you are easily overwhelmed and flustered, they may be able to help you by taking notes
- Go with an outcome in mind – is it advice or treatment you are looking for? Is it understanding which menopause stage you are in or getting a prescription?
Write down your symptoms and their impact on you. Make notes of:
- Which symptoms you’ve been experiencing
- How long you’ve been experiencing them
- Which symptoms are most bothersome – the ones that you want treatment for
- When your symptoms occur in your menstrual cycle if you’re still menstruating
- The effect these symptoms have on your day-to-day life
- The length of your menstrual cycle (from day 1 of your period all the way through to the day before your next period starts) if you’re still menstruating
- Duration of your period bleeding
- Any changes in the last 3-4 cycles, are they heavier or lighter?
- What ovulation – if you can sense it – and menstruation usually feel like for you
- What you’ve already tried, if anything, to address these issues
What to do during the appointment
- Use calming techniques. Try a gentle body scan while you’re in the waiting room. Begin by inhaling and exhaling through your nose, then use your breath to soften your body, noticing anywhere that feels tight. Start with the forehead, then the jaw, then the shoulders, and work your way down the body to your feet
- Take your time. Refer to your questions and remember that you can book a follow-up appointment to go through anything else that you haven’t been able to cover.
- If you think you may become emotional or cry, remind yourself that this is ok. Your health is important and you are doing the right thing by seeking out support
- Ensure your healthcare provider has all the right details. Ask them if you can go back over your notes if you are unsure.
Checklist of questions to ask your healthcare provider about menopause
Doing some research in preparation will also be helpful because this will help you have a more informed conversation and learn some of the common acronyms that your healthcare provider might use.
Here are some questions you might consider asking your healthcare provider during your appointment:
- How can nutrition, exercise, and other lifestyle changes help me manage my symptoms?
- How long will these symptoms last?
- Is hormone therapy (HT) right for me based on my medical history and lifestyle?
- How likely is it that HT will improve my specific symptoms?
- What are the different types of HT and what is best for me and my symptoms?
- How long will I need to be on HT?
Can your healthcare provider test for menopause?
Menopause is a clinical diagnosis. This means that if you have typical symptoms, including hot flashes and irregular or absent periods, your healthcare provider doesn’t need to do any further tests to tell if you are going through menopause.
If you are under 40 with suspected premature menopause symptoms, your healthcare provider may use a hormonal blood test to check whether you are menopausal – this is not routinely recommended for women over this age. Your healthcare provider may also do other tests to rule out alternative causes of your symptoms.
Read more about menopause tests.
What to do if your healthcare provider won’t prescribe HT
Don’t be afraid to do your own research and ask for a second or third opinion if you feel you aren’t getting the support you need from your healthcare provider. If your requests for medications such as HT are being refused, ask why. Your healthcare provider may want you to explore other non-medical treatment options first. Make sure this refusal is noted on your file, so that you can refer to it if you speak to a different healthcare provider in the future.
Final Word
It is important to acknowledge that what you are experiencing is not ‘all in your head’. Equally, it isn’t something that needs to be feared. Menopause is a natural phase of life, and each person will have a unique experience. You should feel confident seeking and receiving medical help and support if you need it.
Find out more about menopause on our blog or in our symptoms library.
- Stella, When to start HT
- Stella, Menopause and period changes – what to expect
- Stella, What are the 34 symptoms of menopause?
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